Waiting...

Yeah so I kind of miscalculated the amount of time it will take me to get cake and yum Yuma for Carlos, and I am stuck in a room by his garage for another, oh, 50 minutes until he comes home hah. The shrimp from Panda would definitely have gotten cold by then, but whatever.

Gayfish has been pissing me off lately. He acts like he is the smartest man on earth, and GOD FORBID I have to do a lab with him; Kirby and him are always like, "MY WAY IS RIGHT AND YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG." Oh yeah? Well, if your male brain has skipped the part of what I'm actually doing, WE ARE DOING THE SAME THING. And he ALWAYS judges Justy and I. That pisses me off. He is no one to compare his life to mine, or hers, and to tell us how to live it right.

I'm living my life right. At least now. I'm not being obsessive like I was before (I really hope that was PMS speaking, and not me hah), and I smile a lot more. I actually get homework done and read Physics for funsies. I like Physics. It makes sense. Hate (HATE!) history. Lit is alright since I admit I am a grammar Nazi IRL. God forbid someone says "me and my friend" or "I'm doing good" as opposed to I'm doing well. But moving on.

God, Charlie is 20 today. Although that makes me freak out a little as far as him still wanting to be with me is concerned, it BLOWS MY MIND because I still feel like I am 10 hah. I still make stupid (the lamest you can think of) jokes. Especially about science hah. I get excited about the smallest stuff, especially if it's something adorable in WoW. And yet, sometimes I feel like I am older than most people.

I learned that I shouldn't be upset for no reason. The person you love can be gone anytime, and you would regret it. That's why I feel like shit right now; my mom and I are currently not on speaking terms.
I learned to keep my expectations low. Harder to get hurt and disappointed that way.
I learned that I'm not that great. Ego is in check now.
Charlie helped me learn that not all men are stupid, inconsiderate assholes. I truly used to believe that. And that sucked.

Ugh, idk.

I know when you are young, you cannot wait until you get out of the house, and until you are independent. Then, you look back with 20-20 hindsight, and you want to go back to the time when everything was given to you. In college, you are completely on your own. Even food and clothing you have to buy yourself. And oh man, if you work, then you have to deal with TAXES. Haha ownage. That sucks.

An hour ago, I was walking to Charlie's house, eager to tell him happy bday and I love him, and now I am thinking about the future. I just hope there would be other birthdays, many more, that I can be a part of. All I want.

I gotta go pee...

I'll just go now hah.